写作

It is widely accepted that an important goal of education is to help students learn how to learn. With evolving global landscape, there is an urgent need for students to prioritize learning how to learn, as its relevance continues to escalate. Reasons and concrete evidence to support my standpoint are as follows.
To begin with, there is no doubt that students can easily find high quality online classes in today's world. According to surveys, most of top students admitted that they spent half of their time on learning online. You can get anything you want to learn from different online classes.
Moreover, it is widely acknowledged that AI plays an important role in present day world. For students, they should widely use AI tools such as ChatGPT. It actually helps you learning new things by teaching and explaining.
Last but not least, I firmly believe that students should enhance their studying spirit by themselves. Effortlessness is a myth. The more things they try to learn, the better they will be.
Ultimately, learning by yourself is indispensable to success. If they spare no effort in learning how to learn, the future of them will be both promising and rosy.

批改意见（以大学英语六级写作标准）

一、总体评价

该作文基本符合题干要求，开头句正确，结构完整，包含引言、三个主体段和结尾段，内容围绕“教育的重要目标是教会学生如何学习”展开。文章尝试结合在线课程、人工智能工具和自主学习精神进行论证，主题明确，有一定逻辑框架。

然而，语言表达存在较多语法错误、用词不当、句式单一等问题，部分观点缺乏具体支撑，论证不够深入。整体属于中等偏下水平的六级写作。

二、评分依据（满分106.5分）
最终得分：73 / 106.5
等级：B档（良好偏低）

三、扣分点与错误分析（中文详解）
✅ 优点
符合题目要求，开头句准确。
结构清晰：引言 → 三个论点 → 总结。
能够结合当代热点（如AI、在线学习），体现时代感。
使用了一些较高级词汇（如 "indispensable", "rosy", "effortlessness"）。

❌ 主要问题与扣分点

1. 语法错误严重（扣约20分）
   主谓一致错误
   “most of top students admitted that they spent half of their time on learning online.”
   → “top students” 前缺冠词，“the top students” 或 “many top students”。
   → “spent... on learning” 搭配不当，应为 “spend time learning” 或 “on studying”。
   时态混乱
   “they should widely use AI tools such as ChatGPT. It actually helps you learning new things…”
   → “helps you learning” 错误！“help sb do sth” 是固定搭配，应为 “helps you learn”。
   代词指代不清
   “If they spare no effort in learning how to learn, the future of them will be both promising and rosy.”
   → “the future of them” 错误！应为 “their future”。
   → “them” 作宾语时不能直接跟在介词后，除非是宾格形式（但此处是所有格）。
   冠词缺失或误用
   “online classes in today's world” → 应为 “in today’s world” 正确，但前文“high quality online classes” 缺少冠词。
   → 应为 “high-quality online courses” 或 “a wide range of high-quality online classes”。
   句子结构错误
   “It is widely acknowledged that AI plays an important role in present day world.”
   → “present day world” 应为 “the present-day world” 或 “today’s world”。
   → “AI plays an important role” 是陈述句，无需加 “that” 引导从句，除非是强调句。
2. 用词不当与表达不准确（扣约12分）
   术语使用不当
   “Effortlessness is a myth.” → 表达虽有哲理，但不符合学术写作风格。
   建议改写：“Success requires consistent effort; there is no shortcut to mastery.”
   口语化表达
   “You can get anything you want to learn from different online classes.”
   → 过于口语化，且“get” 不恰当。
   应改为：“A vast array of knowledge is accessible through diverse online platforms.”
   模糊表述
   “They should enhance their studying spirit by themselves.”
   → “studying spirit” 非标准表达，应为 “learning motivation” 或 “self-discipline”。
   → “by themselves” 重复强调，可删去。
3. 论证薄弱，缺乏具体证据（扣约10分）
   第一段提到“most top students spend half their time learning online”，但未提供数据来源，属于虚假引用。
   第二段提及AI工具如ChatGPT，但未说明具体如何帮助学习（如查资料、写论文、练习语言等），缺乏细节。
   第三段“the more things they try to learn, the better they will be” 属于空泛口号，无例证支持。
4. 语言重复与句式单调（扣约8分）
   多次使用 “students should…”, “I firmly believe that…”, “the more… the more…” 等模板句型。
   缺乏复杂句式（如定语从句、状语从句、非谓语结构），体现不出语言能力。
   词汇重复：如“learn”, “study”, “students” 出现频率过高。
5. 结尾段空洞，缺乏升华（扣约5分）
   “the future of them will be both promising and rosy” 情感化表达，缺乏学术严谨性。
   未能总结前文观点，也未提出社会或个人层面的积极影响。

四、修改建议（参考范文片段）
It is widely accepted that an important goal of education is to help students learn how to learn. In an era of rapid technological advancement, the ability to acquire knowledge independently has become essential.
First, digital platforms offer unprecedented access to high-quality educational resources. For example, platforms like Coursera and Khan Academy allow students to learn at their own pace, mastering subjects ranging from programming to philosophy. Second, artificial intelligence tools such as ChatGPT can serve as personalized tutors, offering instant explanations and feedback. This not only enhances understanding but also encourages critical thinking. Finally, self-motivation and discipline are crucial. Students who take initiative in their learning process—such as setting goals and reviewing regularly—are more likely to succeed.
In conclusion, education should focus not just on content delivery, but on cultivating lifelong learning skills. By mastering how to learn, students can adapt to change and thrive in an ever-evolving world.

五、总结

项目 得分

内容相关性 18/20
语言准确性 13/20
连贯性与衔接 14/20
词汇与句式多样性 12/20
总体印象 13/20
总分：73 / 106.5

建议提升方向

1. 加强语法训练：重点掌握主谓一致、时态、冠词、动词搭配等基础知识点。
2. 提升论证能力：用真实案例（如MOOCs、AI辅助学习研究）增强说服力。
3. 优化语言表达：避免口语化和空洞表达，使用更正式、准确的词汇。
4. 丰富句式结构：尝试使用复合句、倒装句、非谓语动词等提高语言层次。
5. 深化结尾：总结论点并上升到社会或个人发展的高度。

翻译

In recent years, China's cities enhance more quick development, and promote the eviornment of citizens' live places markedly. Many cities try to find out the high quality city's development road with China's style, continully build with cities' function, improve the safety level markedly. China continues to develop restoring cities' ecology and fix functions, takes global action in replace old neighborhood in town, enhances building more city green belt and remove pollution. At the same time, China promote building basical facilites system, develop chacking buildings and government facilities as well as making sure no danger, try to create high quality life eviornment for citizens, make city more beautiful, more safety, more comfortable.

作为大学英语六级考试的批卷老师，我将严格按照CET-6翻译部分评分标准对这份翻译进行批改。以下是详细的评分与分析。

一、原文（中文）

近年来，中国城市加快发展，城市人居环境得到显著改善。许多城市努力探索中国特色的城市高质量发展之路，城市功能不断完善，治理水平明显提高。中国持续开展城市生态修复和功能修补，全面实施城镇老旧小区改造，大力推进城市园林绿化，消除污染；同时大力推进城市基础设施体系化建设，开展房屋建筑和市政设施普查以及安全隐患排查整治，努力为市民创造高品质的生活环境，让城市更美丽、更安全、更宜居。

二、学生译文

In recent years, China's cities enhance more quick development, and promote the eviornment of citizens' live places markedly. Many cities try to find out the high quality city's development road with China's style, continully build with cities' function, improve the safety level markedly. China continues to develop restoring cities' ecology and fix functions, takes global action in replace old neighborhood in town, enhances building more city green belt and remove pollution. At the same time, China promote building basical facilites system, develop chacking buildings and government facilities as well as making sure no danger, try to create high quality life eviornment for citizens, make city more beautiful, more safety, more comfortable.

三、评分标准（CET-6 翻译部分）

根据《全国大学英语四、六级考试大纲》中关于翻译部分的评分标准，主要从以下几个方面进行评分：

评分维度 分值范围 说明

内容完整性 0–15 是否完整传达原文信息，是否有遗漏或增补
语言准确性 0–30 语法、词汇、搭配是否准确，有无错误
表达流畅性 0–20 句子结构是否自然，是否符合英语表达习惯
用词恰当性 0–20 词汇选择是否贴切，是否使用地道表达
格式规范性 0–10 是否符合书面语规范，标点使用等
总分：106.5分
（注：实际考试中该部分满分为106.5，但通常按百分制折算，此处直接以原始分数为准）

四、逐句分析与错误点指出
第一句
原文：近年来，中国城市加快发展，城市人居环境得到显著改善。
学生译文：In recent years, China's cities enhance more quick development, and promote the eviornment of citizens' live places markedly.

✅ 内容基本完整，但存在多处严重错误：

1. ❌ “enhance more quick development” → 语法错误 + 搭配不当
   “enhance” 是动词，不能直接接“development”作宾语，应改为 "have accelerated their development" 或 "are developing more rapidly"。
   “more quick” 是错误表达，正确应为 "faster" 或 "more rapid"。
2. ❌ “eviornment” → 拼写错误（environment）
3. ❌ “citizens' live places” → 表达不地道
   应为 "the living environment of citizens" 或 "urban living conditions"

✔️ 改正建议：
In recent years, Chinese cities have accelerated their development, significantly improving the living environment for urban residents.

第二句
原文：许多城市努力探索中国特色的城市高质量发展之路，城市功能不断完善，治理水平明显提高。
学生译文：Many cities try to find out the high quality city's development road with China's style, continully build with cities' function, improve the safety level markedly.

❌ 多项错误：

1. ❌ “find out the high quality city's development road” → 表达混乱
   “high quality city's development road” 不通顺，应为 "a path of high-quality urban development with Chinese characteristics"
   “find out” 用于发现事实，不适合“探索道路”，应为 "explore" 或 "seek"
2. ❌ “continully build with cities' function” → 语法错误 + 逻辑不清
   “build with” 搭配错误，应为 "continuously improve urban functions"
   “cities' function” 应为复数 "functions"
3. ❌ “improve the safety level markedly” → 偏离原意
   原文是“治理水平明显提高”，不是“安全水平”。学生误将“治理”理解为“安全”。

✔️ 改正建议：
Many cities are striving to explore a path of high-quality urban development with Chinese characteristics, continuously improving urban functions and significantly enhancing governance capabilities.

第三句
原文：中国持续开展城市生态修复和功能修补，全面实施城镇老旧小区改造，大力推进城市园林绿化，消除污染；
学生译文：China continues to develop restoring cities' ecology and fix functions, takes global action in replace old neighborhood in town, enhances building more city green belt and remove pollution.

❌ 错误密集：

1. ❌ “develop restoring cities' ecology” → 语法错误
   “develop” 后不能接动名词作宾语，应为 "carry out ecological restoration"
   “restoring cities' ecology” 应为 "ecological restoration of cities"
2. ❌ “fix functions” → 表达不准确
   “功能修补”应为 "functional renovation" 或 "rehabilitation of urban functions"
3. ❌ “takes global action in replace old neighborhood” → 严重错误
   “global action” 是“全球行动”，原文是“全面实施”，应为 "comprehensively implement"
   “in replace” 应为 "to replace" 或 "for renovating"
   “old neighborhood” 应为 "older residential communities" 或 "aging urban neighborhoods"
4. ❌ “enhances building more city green belt” → 语法错误 + 表达不当
   “enhances building” 不通，应为 "promote urban greening" 或 "expand urban green belts"
   “green belt” 是可数名词，应为复数 "green belts"
5. ❌ “remove pollution” → 动词形式错误
   应为 "eliminate pollution"，且前面缺少连接词

✔️ 改正建议：
China has been continuously carrying out urban ecological restoration and functional rehabilitation, comprehensively implementing renovations of aging urban neighborhoods, vigorously promoting urban greening, and eliminating pollution.

第四句
原文：同时大力推进城市基础设施体系化建设，开展房屋建筑和市政设施普查以及安全隐患排查整治，努力为市民创造高品质的生活环境，让城市更美丽、更安全、更宜居。
学生译文：At the same time, China promote building basical facilites system, develop chacking buildings and government facilities as well as making sure no danger, try to create high quality life eviornment for citizens, make city more beautiful, more safety, more comfortable.

❌ 大量错误：

1. ❌ “promote building basical facilites system” → 拼写错误 + 语法错误
   “basical” → basic（拼写错误）
   “facilites” → facilities（拼写错误）
   “building...system” 不通，应为 "promote systematic construction of urban infrastructure"
2. ❌ “develop chacking buildings” → 拼写错误 + 词汇错误
   “chacking” → checking（检查），但“checking buildings” 不通
   正确应为 "conducting surveys of buildings and municipal facilities"
3. ❌ “making sure no danger” → 表达不正式，不准确
   原文是“安全隐患排查整治”，应为 "identify and rectify potential safety hazards"
4. ❌ “try to create high quality life eviornment” → 拼写错误 + 表达不当
   “eviornment” → environment
   “life eviornment” → living environment
5. ❌ “make city more beautiful, more safety, more comfortable” → 语法错误 + 用词不当
   “more safety” 应为 "safer"
   “city” 缺少冠词，应为 "the city"
   “more comfortable” 虽然语法正确，但原文是“更宜居”，应为 "more livable"

✔️ 改正建议：
At the same time, China is advancing systematic construction of urban infrastructure, conducting comprehensive surveys of buildings and municipal facilities, and identifying and rectifying potential safety hazards, aiming to create a high-quality living environment for citizens and make cities more beautiful, safer, and more livable.

五、整体问题总结

类型 具体问题

拼写错误 eviornment, basical, facilites, chacking, continully
语法错误 动词时态/主谓一致错误（如 "China promote", "enhances building"）
搭配错误 “enhance development”, “build with functions”, “develop restoring”
词汇错误 “find out the road”, “global action”, “no danger”
表达不地道 “live places”, “safety level”（误译）
逻辑偏差 将“治理水平”误译为“安全水平”
句子结构混乱 多个并列句缺乏连接词，主干不清

六、评分（满分106.5）

评分项目 得分 说明

内容完整性 12/15 基本涵盖原文要点，但部分细节缺失或误解
语言准确性 18/30 存在大量语法、拼写、搭配错误
表达流畅性 10/20 句子不通顺，逻辑跳跃，读起来困难
用词恰当性 12/20 词汇选择不当，部分术语错误
格式规范性 6/10 标点使用尚可，但大小写、空格等不规范
✅ 总得分：58 / 106.5

七、最终评语

该考生的翻译存在较多基础性错误，包括严重的拼写错误、语法错误、词汇误用和表达不地道等问题。虽然能大致传达原文意思，但在语言准确性和表达流畅性方面表现较差。尤其是将“治理水平”误译为“安全水平”，属于关键信息误译，影响了内容准确性。

建议考生：

1. 加强英语基础语法学习；
2. 注意常见词汇的正确拼写（如 environment, basic, facilities）；
3. 提高对汉语长句的拆分与重组能力；
4. 多积累官方文件类文本的固定表达（如“urban greening”, “infrastructure construction”）；
5. 使用更地道的英语表达，避免直译。

✅ 最终得分：58 / 106.5
（相当于约 54.5% 的得分率，在六级考试中属于较低水平，需重点加强训练）