写作

Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. With the evolving global landscape, there is an urgent need for many people to prioritize mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health, as its relevance continues to escalate. Reasons and concrete evidence to support my standpoint are as follows.
To begin with, there is no doubt that psychological health plays an important role in people's daily life. According to surveys, most of successful social elite admitted that they had clear awareness of mental well-being and always give as much attention as physical health.
Moreover, it is widely acknowledge that healthy psychology can support us to achieve our goals. Last but not least, I firmly believe mental well-being is a symbol of happy life. The richer your spirit is, the easier it is to realize your life dreams.
Ultimately, healthy psychology is indispensable to success. If we spare no effort to mental well-being, the future of our life will be both promising and rosy.

批改报告：大学英语六级写作部分

题目回顾：
Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. You can make comments, cite examples or use your personal experiences to develop your essay. (150–200 words)

考生作文原文：
Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. With the evolving global landscape, there is an urgent need for many people to prioritize mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health, as its relevance continues to escalate. Reasons and concrete evidence to support my standpoint are as follows.

To begin with, there is no doubt that psychological health plays an important role in people's daily life. According to surveys, most of successful social elite admitted that they had clear awareness of mental well-being and always give as much attention as physical health.

Moreover, it is widely acknowledge that healthy psychology can support us to achieve our goals. Last but not least, I firmly believe mental well-being is a symbol of happy life. The richer your spirit is, the easier it is to realize your life dreams.

Ultimately, healthy psychology is indispensable to success. If we spare no effort to mental well-being, the future of our life will be both promising and rosy.

一、评分标准（CET-6 写作部分）

根据《全国大学英语四、六级考试大纲》中对写作的评分标准，六级写作满分为 106.5分，主要从以下四个方面评分：

1. 内容完整性与切题度（Content & Task Response）
2. 语言表达准确性与丰富性（Language Use & Fluency）
3. 结构组织与逻辑性（Organization & Coherence）
4. 词汇与语法运用（Vocabulary & Grammar）

二、逐项分析与扣分点
✅ 优点（Strengths）
文章紧扣题目，开头引用了题干句，符合要求。
结构基本清晰：引言 → 三个论点 → 总结。
观点明确，表达了“心理健康的重视应等同于身体健康”的立场。
使用了一些较为正式的表达，如 “indispensable to success”, “spare no effort”, “escalate” 等。

❌ 主要问题与错误点

错误类型 具体错误 扣分原因

语法错误（Grammar Errors） 1. "there is an urgent need for many people to prioritize mental well-being needs to be given..." —— 句子结构混乱，重复使用“needs to be given”，造成嵌套错误。 严重语法错误，属于主谓不一致 + 句式杂糅，导致句子无法理解。

2. "most of successful social elite admitted" —— 缺少冠词，“of”后应为“the successful social elite”。 冠词缺失，且“elite”是集合名词，需加定冠词“the”。
3. "always give as much attention as physical health" —— 主语是“they”，但动词用的是“give”（现在时），而前文“admitted”是过去时，时态不一致。 时态错误，影响连贯性。
4. "it is widely acknowledge" —— 应为“acknowledged”（被动语态）。 动词形式错误，属基础语法错误。
5. "If we spare no effort to mental well-being" —— “spare no effort to” 后应接动词原形，即 “spare no effort in promoting / to promote mental well-being”。 搭配错误，“spare no effort to do sth” 是固定搭配，但此处缺少“to”或“in doing”。

词汇与表达（Vocabulary & Expression） 1. “psychological health” vs “mental well-being” —— 虽然意思相近，但“mental well-being”是题干关键词，应尽量保持一致性。 词汇不够精准，略显重复或替换不当。

2. “richer your spirit is” —— 表达模糊，“spirit”在中文语境中可能指“精神世界”，但英文中易被误解为“灵魂”或“情绪”。建议改为“inner richness”或“emotional resilience”。 用词不地道，表达含糊。
3. “happy life” 和 “life dreams” —— 过于笼统，缺乏具体性。 缺乏深度，表达空洞。

逻辑与论证（Coherence & Development） 1. 第二段论据薄弱：“surveys”未说明来源，且“successful social elite”无具体例子支持。 论证空泛，缺乏说服力，违背“cite examples”要求。

2. 第三段“healthy psychology can support us to achieve our goals” —— 无例证支撑，仅陈述观点。 缺乏具体展开，论证不足。
3. 第四段“symbol of happy life” —— 抽象，未解释如何体现。 推理跳跃，缺乏逻辑衔接。

结构与连贯性（Organization） 1. 段落之间过渡生硬，如“Moreover”, “Last but not least”虽用了连接词，但缺乏内在逻辑递进。 连接词使用机械，缺乏自然过渡。

2. 开头第二句与第一句高度重复，显得啰嗦。 冗余表达，影响语言简洁性。

字数与格式 实际字数约 170词，符合要求。 ✅ 符合要求

三、综合评分（按六级标准）

评分维度 得分（满分106.5） 评语

内容与切题度 18/25 主题明确，但论证薄弱，缺乏具体例子和深入分析。
语言准确性 15/25 多处语法错误（时态、搭配、主谓一致），影响理解。
结构与逻辑 16/25 结构基本完整，但段落间逻辑松散，论证跳跃。
词汇与表达 14/25 词汇简单，表达重复，部分用词不地道。

总分：63 / 106.5
相当于四级成绩约 500 分左右，六级属中下水平。

四、修改建议与范文参考
✅ 修改建议：

1. 避免重复句式，尤其是开头句不要重复。
2. 使用更准确的词汇，如“mental health”, “emotional resilience”, “psychological resilience”。
3. 增加具体例子：如“many high-performing professionals practice mindfulness”, “students who manage stress better perform better academically”。
4. 注意时态一致，避免过去时与现在时混用。
5. 正确使用固定搭配，如“spare no effort to promote”, “be aware of”, “take care of”。

✅ 参考范文（180词）：
Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. In an increasingly fast-paced world, mental health has become a critical factor in personal success and overall quality of life.

First, good mental health enables individuals to cope with stress effectively. For example, many students who regularly practice meditation report improved concentration and lower anxiety levels during exams. Second, psychological resilience contributes significantly to long-term achievement. Studies show that employees with strong emotional regulation skills are more likely to advance in their careers. Finally, mental well-being fosters meaningful relationships and a sense of purpose, which are essential for a fulfilling life.

In conclusion, just as we exercise our bodies, we must also nurture our minds. By prioritizing mental health through self-care, therapy, and open conversations, we can build a healthier and more balanced society.

总结：

该考生作文具备基本写作框架，但存在较多语法错误、表达空洞、论证薄弱等问题。若能加强语言准确性、补充具体例证、优化逻辑结构，可提升至 80+ 分 水平。

✅ 最终得分：63 / 106.5
⚠️ 建议重点练习：语法准确性、例证支撑、词汇多样性与表达地道性。

翻译

In recent years, more and more Chinese cultural products which are favored by oversea customers output to global market. With the quick development of China oversea cultural trade, Chinese cultural products had became top of the world for continuing few years, it cause a group of cultural companys, products and bands which have global influence. According to data, the sales number of Chinese publishs, movies, Internet litenature, catoons and so on is increasig every years overseas. China goverment published a series of policy to encourage and support great cultural products with have more Chinese elements to go abroad, explore markets overseas, make a progress of increasing global influence of Chinese culture.

批改说明：

作为大学英语六级（CET-6）翻译部分的批卷老师，我将根据《全国大学英语六级考试大纲》中对翻译题目的评分标准进行批改。该部分满分为 106.5分（占总分的15%），评分主要依据以下维度：
准确性（Accuracy）：是否忠实于原文意思。
语言表达（Language Use）：语法、词汇、句式是否恰当自然。
逻辑连贯性（Coherence & Cohesion）：句子衔接是否流畅，结构是否合理。
语言规范性（Grammatical Accuracy）：是否有明显语法错误或拼写错误。

一、原文回顾：

近年来，越来越多的中国文化产品走向全球市场，日益受到海外消费者的青睐。随着中国对外文化贸易的快速发展，中国文化产品出口额已持续多年位居世界前列，形成了一批具有国际影响力的文化企业、产品和品牌。数据显示，中国的出版物、影视作品、网络文学与动漫作品等在海外的销售量连年攀升。中国政府出台了一系列政策鼓励和支持更多具有中国元素的优秀文化产品走出国门，扩大海外市场份额，进一步提升中国文化的世界影响力。

二、学生译文分析：
In recent years, more and more Chinese cultural products which are favored by oversea customers output to global market. With the quick development of China oversea cultural trade, Chinese cultural products had became top of the world for continuing few years, it cause a group of cultural companys, products and bands which have global influence. According to data, the sales number of Chinese publishs, movies, Internet litenature, catoons and so on is increasig every years overseas. China goverment published a series of policy to encourage and support great cultural products with have more Chinese elements to go abroad, explore markets overseas, make a progress of increasing global influence of Chinese culture.

三、逐句点评与错误分析
第1句：
原文：近年来，越来越多的中国文化产品走向全球市场，日益受到海外消费者的青睐。
学生译文：In recent years, more and more Chinese cultural products which are favored by oversea customers output to global market.

✅ 优点：基本表达了“越来越多的文化产品”、“受海外消费者青睐”的含义。

❌ 错误点：

1. "oversea customers" → 错误用法。正确应为 "overseas customers"（overseas 是形容词，表示“海外的”；oversea 是名词/副词，不作形容词）。
2. "output to global market" → 严重语法错误。“output”是名词或动词，此处不能直接作谓语。应改为 "have been exported to the global market" 或 "are being exported to the global market"。
3. 句子结构混乱：定语从句 "which are favored..." 放在前面，导致主句无谓语，属于主谓缺失问题。
4. 缺少冠词：“global market”前应加 the → “the global market”。

👉 建议修改：
In recent years, more and more Chinese cultural products have been exported to the global market and are increasingly favored by overseas consumers.

第2句：
原文：随着中国对外文化贸易的快速发展，中国文化产品出口额已持续多年位居世界前列，形成了一批具有国际影响力的文化企业、产品和品牌。
学生译文：With the quick development of China oversea cultural trade, Chinese cultural products had became top of the world for continuing few years, it cause a group of cultural companys, products and bands which have global influence.

❌ 错误点：

1. "China oversea cultural trade" → 搭配错误。应为 "China's overseas cultural trade"（所有格+形容词）。
2. "had became" → 时态错误。过去完成时需用 had become（become 是不规则动词）。
3. "for continuing few years" → 表达错误。“持续多年”应为 "for several consecutive years" 或 "over the past several years"。
4. "top of the world" → 不准确、口语化。应为 "ranked among the top in the world" 或 "led the world"。
5. "it cause" → 主谓一致错误。"it" 是单数，且动作发生在过去，应为 "it has caused" 或 "this has led to"。
6. "cultural companys" → 拼写错误，“companys” 应为 "companies"。
7. "bands" → 用词不当。“品牌”应译为 "brands"，不是“bands”（乐队）。
8. 句子结构问题：两个独立子句之间没有连接词，造成逗号拼接（comma splice）错误。

👉 建议修改：
With the rapid development of China's overseas cultural trade, the export volume of Chinese cultural products has ranked among the world's top for several consecutive years, giving rise to a number of culturally influential enterprises, products, and brands.

第3句：
原文：数据显示，中国的出版物、影视作品、网络文学与动漫作品等在海外的销售量连年攀升。
学生译文：According to data, the sales number of Chinese publishs, movies, Internet litenature, catoons and so on is increasig every years overseas.

❌ 错误点：

1. "publishs" → 拼写错误，应为 "publications"。
2. "Internet litenature" → 拼写错误，“literature”错写成“litenature”，应为 "online literature" 或 "internet literature"。
3. "catoons" → 拼写错误，应为 "cartoons"。
4. "sales number" → 不地道。应为 "sales figures" 或 "sales volumes"。
5. "is increasig" → 拼写错误，“increasing”。
6. "every years" → 语法错误。应为 "year after year" 或 "each year"。
7. "overseas" 位置不当。应放在句末或修饰“sales”即可。

👉 建议修改：
According to data, the sales of Chinese publications, films, online literature, cartoons, and other cultural products overseas have been rising steadily year after year.

第4句：
原文：中国政府出台了一系列政策鼓励和支持更多具有中国元素的优秀文化产品走出国门，扩大海外市场份额，进一步提升中国文化的世界影响力。
学生译文：China goverment published a series of policy to encourage and support great cultural products with have more Chinese elements to go abroad, explore markets overseas, make a progress of increasing global influence of Chinese culture.

❌ 错误点：

1. "goverment" → 拼写错误，应为 "government"。
2. "published a series of policy" → 单复数错误。“policy”是可数名词，应为 "policies"。
3. "with have more Chinese elements" → 语法错误。应为 "that contain more Chinese elements" 或 "rich in Chinese cultural elements"。
4. "to go abroad, explore markets overseas, make a progress" → 并列不定式结构错误。三个并列动词应统一形式，且 "make a progress" 错误（progress 不可数，不能加 a）。
5. "make a progress of increasing..." → 语义不清，搭配错误。应为 "enhance the global influence of Chinese culture"。

👉 建议修改：
The Chinese government has introduced a series of policies to encourage and support high-quality cultural products rich in Chinese elements to go global, expand their presence in overseas markets, and further enhance the global influence of Chinese culture.

四、综合评分与扣分点总结

项目 得分情况

内容完整性 ✅ 基本覆盖了原文要点，信息完整，无遗漏。
语言准确性 ❌ 多处严重语法错误、拼写错误、词汇误用。
语法结构 ❌ 存在主谓缺失、时态错误、并列结构错误、逗号拼接等问题。
词汇使用 ❌ 多处词汇错误（如 oversea, companys, catoons, litenature 等）。
逻辑连贯性 ⚠️ 句子之间逻辑尚可，但因语法错误影响整体流畅度。

五、评分标准参考（CET-6 翻译评分细则）

分数段 标准描述

91–106.5 翻译准确，语言通顺，表达自然，基本无错误。
76–90 内容完整，语言基本通顺，有少量语法或用词错误。
61–75 内容较完整，有较多语法或用词错误，影响理解。
46–60 内容部分缺失，语言错误较多，影响表达。
31–45 内容不完整，语言错误严重，难以理解。
0–30 几乎无法阅读，完全偏离原意或未作答。

六、最终得分评定

原始得分估算：约 58 分（满分 106.5）
扣分明细如下：

1. 语法错误（主谓缺失、时态错误、并列结构错误）→ 扣 15 分
2. 拼写错误（oversea, companys, catoons, litenature, goverment, publishs）→ 扣 10 分
3. 词汇误用（bands, top of the world, sales number, make a progress）→ 扣 10 分
4. 句子结构混乱（逗号拼接、成分残缺）→ 扣 8 分
5. 表达不地道/不自然（如 "output to", "with have more Chinese elements"）→ 扣 5 分

✅ 最终得分：58 / 106.5
（相当于约 54.5% 的得分率）

七、改进建议

1. 加强基础语法训练：特别是时态、主谓一致、并列结构、非谓语动词等。
2. 注意单词拼写与搭配：多积累常见词汇的正确形式（如 overseas vs over sea）。
3. 避免中式英语表达：不要直译，要符合英语习惯（如 “输出到市场” ≠ “output to market”）。
4. 使用更正式、学术化的表达：如 “ranked among the top”, “enhance global influence”, “expand market share”。
5. 检查标点与句子结构：避免逗号拼接，合理使用连接词（e.g., which, that, and, so that）。

八、推荐高分范文参考（供学习）
In recent years, an increasing number of Chinese cultural products have entered the global market and gained growing popularity among overseas consumers. With the rapid development of China’s overseas cultural trade, the export volume of such products has consistently ranked among the world’s top for several consecutive years, leading to the emergence of a number of culturally influential enterprises, products, and brands. Data shows that the sales of Chinese publications, films, online literature, cartoons, and other cultural works overseas have risen steadily year after year. The Chinese government has introduced a series of policies to encourage and support high-quality cultural products rich in Chinese elements to go global, expand their presence in overseas markets, and further enhance the global influence of Chinese culture.