写作

People are now increasingly aware of the danger of 'appearance anxiety' or being obsessed with one's looks. With the evolving global landscape, there is an urgent need for us to prioritize the danger of 'appearance anxiety', as its relevance continues to escalate. Reasons and concrete evidence to support my standpoint are as follows.
To begin with, there is no doubt that the increasingly aware of appearance anxiety or focus on one's looks. People always feel nervous about their appearance and behavior because we compare each other escepially on the Internet. We must focus on our appearance details. According to surveys, most of people admitted that they often photoshop their photos before post on the Internet or show them to someone, they attend to agaist appearance anxiety by such ways.
Moreover, it is widely acknowledge that it is really hard to not be obsessed with one's looks. We adjustment ourselve by someone's judgement. Last but not least, I firmly believe that we have such problems because we were told to be polite by having a great appearance or behavior. But awesome appearance is a myth. We shouldn't push too much stress on ourselves.
Ultimately, If we spare no effort to the danger of 'appearance anxiety' or being obsessed with one's looks, the future of our life will be both hopeful and rosy.

将根据CET-6写作评分标准（满分106.5分）对这篇作文进行详细批改。评分标准主要包括以下五个方面：

1. 内容完整性（Content）
2. 语言准确性（Language Accuracy）
3. 结构连贯性（Organization & Coherence）
4. 词汇与语法多样性（Vocabulary & Grammar Range）
5. 字数要求（Word Count）

逐项批改分析
✅ 优点：
主题明确，围绕“外貌焦虑”展开论述。
结构基本完整：引言 → 三个论点 → 结论。
使用了部分高级表达如 “spare no effort”, “escalate”, “acknowledge” 等，显示出一定的词汇积累。
段落之间有逻辑连接词（To begin with, Moreover, Last but not least, Ultimately），体现了初步的组织意识。

❌ 主要问题与扣分点：

1. 语言错误严重（语法、拼写、搭配错误）——严重扣分项

错误类型 具体例子 正确形式 扣分原因

主谓一致错误 "the increasingly aware" → 不符合语法 应为 "there is no doubt that people are becoming increasingly aware..." 主语缺失，句子不成立
动词时态/语态错误 "they often photoshop... before post" before posting 或 before they post 动名词或从句使用不当
冠词缺失 "most of people" most people 固定搭配错误
介词错误 "attend to agaist appearance anxiety" combat / deal with appearance anxiety “agaist” 是拼写错误；“attend to” 搭配不当
动词形式错误 "We adjustment ourselve" We adjust ourselves 动词用错，代词拼写错误（ourselve → ourselves）
形容词误用 "awesome appearance is a myth" 可改为 "perfect appearance" 或 "ideal appearance" “awesome” 表达不准确，语义不清
冠词与冠词缺失 "the danger of 'appearance anxiety'"（重复使用） 可接受，但略显啰嗦 非致命，但影响流畅性
逻辑衔接问题 “we were told to be polite by having a great appearance” 逻辑跳跃，缺乏解释 论据薄弱，因果关系不明
🔴 总结：全文存在大量基础语法错误，包括：
时态混乱
动词形式错误
拼写错误（escepially → especially, agaist → against）
名词单复数、冠词缺失
介词搭配不当
代词错误（ourselve）

这些错误严重影响了语言准确性，属于低水平语言表达。

2. 内容深度不足，论证薄弱（内容完整性扣分）
   第一段提出观点后，第二段试图说明“人们越来越关注外貌”，但未真正解释“为什么这是危险的”。
   第三段说“很难不沉迷于外貌”，但没有提供具体社会现象或心理机制支持。
   最后一段提到“我们被教育要礼貌”，但这个理由牵强，且与“外貌焦虑”的关联性弱。
   缺乏具体例证（如社交媒体影响、青少年抑郁数据等），仅泛泛而谈“survey”却无来源或细节。
   ⚠️ 建议：应更深入探讨“外貌焦虑的危害”（如心理健康问题、自我认同危机等），并结合现实案例增强说服力。
3. 结构尚可但不够清晰（连贯性部分扣分）
   虽然有“to begin with”, “moreover”, “last but not least”等过渡词，但各段之间的逻辑关系模糊。
   第二段开头“there is no doubt that...”之后接的是一个语法错误句，导致读者难以理解其意图。
   结尾句“the future of our life will be both hopeful and rosy”过于空洞，缺乏升华。
   🔄 建议：结尾应呼应主题，提出建设性建议（如倡导多元审美、加强心理健康教育）。
4. 词汇与语法多样性有限（中等偏下）
   使用了一些较正式词汇（prioritize, escalate, acknowledge），但整体词汇单一。
   多次重复使用“appearance anxiety”和“obsessed with one’s looks”。
   未能灵活运用同义替换或复杂句式（如倒装、强调句、非谓语结构）。
5. 字数检查
   实际字数：约 180词（符合150–200词要求）✅

三、按六级评分标准打分（满分106.5）

评分维度 得分（满分） 评语

内容完整性（Content） 17/25 主题明确，但论点浅显，论证薄弱，缺乏具体证据
语言准确性（Language Accuracy） 15/30 存在大量语法、拼写、搭配错误，影响理解
结构连贯性（Organization） 18/25 有基本结构，但逻辑衔接生硬，部分段落混乱
词汇与语法多样性（Vocabulary & Grammar） 15/25 有一定词汇量，但重复多，句式简单，错误频繁
字数要求（Word Count） 5/5 符合要求
💡 总分估算：
17 + 15 + 18 + 15 + 5 = 70 / 106.5

✅ 最终得分：70 / 106.5
对应等级：B+（良好）→ 较低水平，需大幅改进

四、修改建议与范文参考（供学习）
修改建议：

1. 纠正所有语法错误，尤其是动词形式、冠词、介词。
2. 增强论证深度，加入具体例子（如Instagram对青少年的影响、整容手术上升趋势）。
3. 优化语言表达，避免重复，使用更自然的表达。
4. 提升结尾质量，提出解决方案而非空洞口号。

改写示范（约180词）：
People are now increasingly aware of the danger of 'appearance anxiety' or being obsessed with one's looks. With the evolving global landscape, there is an urgent need for us to address this growing issue, as its impact on mental health continues to deepen.
Firstly, social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok promote unrealistic beauty standards, leading many to constantly compare themselves with others. This comparison often results in low self-esteem and even depression. For instance, studies show that teenagers who spend more than two hours daily on social media are more likely to suffer from body image issues.
Secondly, the pressure to look perfect has led to widespread photo editing and cosmetic procedures. Many people feel compelled to alter their appearance to gain approval, which reflects a deeper societal obsession with external validation.
Finally, we should recognize that true confidence comes from within, not from physical appearance. Schools and families should encourage self-acceptance and emotional resilience rather than superficial ideals.
In conclusion, while appearance matters to some extent, excessive concern over looks can harm mental well-being. By fostering a healthier perspective on beauty, we can build a more inclusive and compassionate society.

总结：

该考生具备一定的写作框架意识，但在语言准确性和内容深度上存在明显短板。若能加强语法训练、积累真实例证，并提升语言表达的精准度，成绩有望提升至 85+ 分。
📌 建议复习重点：
常见动词短语搭配（e.g., deal with, combat, struggle with）
社会现象类话题常用表达（e.g., rise in..., lead to..., contribute to...）
语法纠错练习（尤其是动词时态、主谓一致、非谓语结构）

分析

这次听力比较高191.7，但是阅读太差了117.2（C只对了4个），太危险了。