No Pains, No Gains

Nowadays, it is undeniable that what is worth doing when one is young has almost become the most popular topic in present-day world. Many people have different answers, offering their own thoughts to the young people of today. As for me, no pains, no gains, is my opinion for account of my views.

Take my friend Wang as an example, who works in a local market. He often remarks to me that he wants to earn a lot of money so he doesn’t need to work. I thought what he said was funny, so I asked him, how can you make money if you don’t work? The answer is obviously no. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Therefore, if you don’t study or work hard, you will never get what you want.

Getting something for nothing is just a dream. As young people, we ought to try our best to achieve our goal, work more and talk less. After that, anything you want you will get.

作文水平评价：

这篇作文属于 16-21分档，整体切题，结构完整，思路较清晰，文字较连贯，但存在一些语法错误和中式英语表达，语言地道性不足。

扣分点分析：

1. 语法错误：

   • "what is worth doing when one is young has almost become the most popular topic" 中 "almost become" 表达不够准确，应改为 "has almost become one of the most popular topics"。
   • "As for me, no pains, no gains, is my opinion for account of my views" 中 "for account of" 是中式英语，应改为 "because of" 或 "based on"。
   • "how can you make money if you don’t work?" 中 "how can you" 后缺少主语，应改为 "how can you make money if you don’t work?"（此处语法正确，但表达略显口语化）。
   • "After that, anything you want you will get" 中 "you want you will get" 表达重复，应改为 "After that, you will get anything you want"。

2. 中式英语：

   • "no pains, no gains, is my opinion for account of my views" 中 "for account of" 是明显的中式表达，英语中没有这种用法。
   • "he doesn’t need to work" 中 "doesn’t need to work" 略显生硬，更自然的表达是 "he doesn’t have to work"。

3. 语言地道性不足：

   • "what is worth doing when one is young has almost become the most popular topic" 中 "has almost become" 表达不够地道，建议改为 "has become one of the most popular topics"。
   • "I thought what he said was funny" 中 "I thought" 可改为 "I found it amusing" 更显正式。

4. 题目未单独列出：

   • 作文题目 "No Pains, No Gains" 未单独列出，需扣 1分。

优化建议（如何达到满分）：

1. 修改语法错误：

   • 将 "has almost become the most popular topic" 改为 "has become one of the most popular topics"。
   • 将 "for account of" 改为 "because of" 或 "based on"。
   • 将 "After that, anything you want you will get" 改为 "After that, you will get anything you want"。

2. 提升语言地道性：

   • 将 "he doesn’t need to work" 改为 "he doesn’t have to work"。
   • 将 "I thought what he said was funny" 改为 "I found his statement amusing"。

3. 增加复杂句型和高级表达：

   • 在开头加入复杂句型，例如：

     "The proverb 'No pains, no gains' has long been regarded as a fundamental principle in achieving success, emphasizing that effort is the cornerstone of accomplishment."

   • 在例子部分加入细节，例如：

     "Take my friend Wang as an example. He works in a local market and often expresses his desire to earn enough money to retire early. However, his reluctance to put in the necessary effort makes this dream unrealistic. As the saying goes, 'Money doesn’t grow on trees,' highlighting that success requires hard work and perseverance."

4. 确保题目单独列出：

   • 将题目 "No Pains, No Gains" 单独居中列出，避免扣分。

修改后的满分作文示例：

No Pains, No Gains

The proverb "No pains, no gains" has long been regarded as a fundamental principle in achieving success, emphasizing that effort is the cornerstone of accomplishment. In today’s world, discussions about what young people should prioritize have become increasingly popular. Many offer their perspectives, but in my view, the principle of "no pains, no gains" remains the most compelling.

Take my friend Wang as an example. He works in a local market and often expresses his desire to earn enough money to retire early. However, his reluctance to put in the necessary effort makes this dream unrealistic. I once asked him, "How can you make money if you don’t work?" His response was telling. As the saying goes, "Money doesn’t grow on trees," underscoring that success requires hard work and perseverance. Without dedication and effort, one can never achieve their goals.

Getting something for nothing is merely an illusion. As young people, we ought to strive for our goals with diligence and determination. By working more and talking less, we can turn our dreams into reality. Remember, sustained effort is the key to unlocking the doors of opportunity and success. After all, as the proverb wisely reminds us, "No pains, no gains."

通过以上修改，作文的语言更加地道，结构更加清晰，复杂句型和高级表达的使用也更加丰富，能够达到满分标准。