Competition and Cooperation

Nowadays, it is undeniable that the development of children has almost become the most popular topic in present-day China. Parents have different opinions on children's education. Take my friend Wang as an example, who has two kids. She often remarks to me that she doesn't know whether she should teach her children to compete or cooperate.

That's a complex problem. It is believed that we ought to let children raise their awareness of competition, and teach them try their best to do. Nothing of value will wait for us. The other side is not far to seek. Children can achieve greater goals only if they cooperate together, this is what many people agree with. Because in modern society, it's really hard to do everything well by yourself. Some people are good at this thing, other people interest in that thing, why not we cooperate so that we can be easier to make dreams come true.

In my opinion, it depends on children themselves. The most important thing is that we should allow them to try both of two, I believe they will realize the difference between them.

评价：
这篇作文基本切题，结构完整，思路较清晰，文字较连贯。文章开头引入了话题，中间部分阐述了两种不同的观点，最后表达了作者的看法。然而，文章中存在一些语法错误和表达不够准确的地方，例如：

1. “raise their awareness of competition”中的“of”使用不当，应改为“awareness about”或“awareness regarding”。
2. “teach them try their best to do”中的“try”前缺少“to”，应改为“teach them to try their best to do something”。
3. “why not we cooperate”中的语序有误，应改为“why not cooperate”或“why don't we cooperate”。
4. “be easier to make dreams come true”中的“be”使用不当，应改为“it is easier to make dreams come true”。
5. “allow them to try both of two”中的“two”使用不当，应改为“both”即可，因为“both”本身就意味着两个。

此外，文章中有一些表达不够准确或有中式英语的问题，例如：

• “Nothing of value will wait for us”表达不够准确，可以改为“Nothing valuable will come to us without effort”。
• “Some people are good at this thing, other people interest in that thing”中的“interest”使用不当，应改为“are interested in”。

扣分点：

• 语法错误较多，影响了语言的准确性。
• 表达不够地道，存在中式英语的问题。
• 缺乏高级词汇和复杂句型的运用。

优化建议：

1. 修正语法错误：

   • 将“raise their awareness of competition”改为“raise their awareness about competition”。
   • 将“teach them try their best to do”改为“teach them to try their best to achieve their goals”。
   • 将“why not we cooperate”改为“why not cooperate”或“why don't we cooperate”。
   • 将“be easier to make dreams come true”改为“it is easier to make dreams come true”。
   • 将“allow them to try both of two”改为“allow them to try both”。

2. 提升表达的准确性和地道性：

   • 将“Nothing of value will wait for us”改为“Nothing valuable will come to us without effort”。
   • 将“Some people are good at this thing, other people interest in that thing”改为“Some people excel at certain tasks, while others are interested in different ones”。

3. 增加高级词汇和复杂句型：

   • 使用更丰富的词汇，如将“important”改为“crucial”或“vital”。
   • 运用复杂句型，如定语从句、状语从句等，使文章表达更加流畅和专业。

评分：
根据评分标准，这篇作文可以给予16-21分之间的分数。考虑到文章的基本结构完整，思路清晰，但存在较多语法错误和表达不够准确的问题，我给这篇作文打18分。