My Favorite Traditional Chinese Art

Nowadays, it is underiable that traditional Chiese art has almost become the most popular thing in present-day world. Take my friend Wang as an example, who studys in Japan. He often remarks to me that he has great interest in Chinese opera, and he wishes he could have a chance to come to China.

As Wang says, there have a lot of traditional Chinese arts in present-day China. Such as Chinese opera, traditional draw and dance. In my opinion, my favorite one among the traditional chinese arts is opera. Opera is a performance that mix sing and dance, you can enjoy both of them at the same time. Moreover, it sounds very powerful, so it often encourages me to work harder.

For my part, all of the traditional Chiese arts are worthwhile. And as young people, we ought to understand them. We should promote its benefits and raise the awareness of developing traditional Chinese art.

扣分点（错误点）：

1. 拼写错误：

   • "underiable" → 正确应为 "undeniable"。
   • "Chiese" → 正确应为 "Chinese"（多处出现）。
   • "studys" → 正确应为 "studies"。
   • "draw" → 正确应为 "drawing"。

2. 语法错误：

   • "there have a lot of traditional Chinese arts" → 正确应为 "there are a lot of traditional Chinese arts"。
   • "mix sing and dance" → 正确应为 "mixes singing and dancing"。
   • "you can enjoy both of them at the same time" → 表达不够自然，建议改为 "allowing you to enjoy both at the same time"。

3. 用词不当：

   • "promote its benefits" → 表达不够准确，建议改为 "promote its value"。
   • "raise the awareness of developing traditional Chinese art" → 表达不够地道，建议改为 "raise awareness of preserving traditional Chinese art"。

4. 句式单一：

   • 文章多为简单句，缺乏复杂句型和高级表达。例如：

     • "Opera is a performance that mix sing and dance" → 可改为 "Opera, which combines singing and dancing, is a unique form of traditional Chinese art."

5. 连贯性问题：

   • 部分句子衔接不够自然，例如：

     • "you can enjoy both of them at the same time" → 建议改为 "allowing you to enjoy both at the same time"，以增强连贯性。

评分：

根据评分标准，考生的作文可以归为 16-21分 档次。具体评分如下：

• 内容切题：符合题目要求，结构完整，思路清晰 → +5分。
• 语言表达：存在较多语法和拼写错误，但基本能表达清楚意思 → +10分。
• 句式和词汇：句式较为单一，缺乏高级表达 → -5分。
• 连贯性：整体连贯性较好，但部分句子衔接不够自然 → -2分。

总分：18分

优化建议：

1. 修正拼写和语法错误：

   • 仔细检查拼写，确保单词正确（如 "undeniable"、"Chinese"、"studies"、"drawing"）。
   • 注意动词形式和主谓一致（如 "there are"、"mixes"）。

2. 丰富句式：

   • 使用复杂句型，如定语从句、状语从句等。例如：

     • "Opera, which combines singing and dancing, is a unique form of traditional Chinese art."
     • "As Wang, who studies in Japan, often tells me, he has a strong interest in Chinese opera."

3. 提升词汇和表达：

   • 使用更高级的词汇和表达，如 "preserve"、"cultural heritage"、"promote its value" 等。
   • 避免重复和简单的表达，如 "very powerful" 可改为 "strikingly powerful"。

4. 增强连贯性：

   • 使用过渡词和短语，如 "Firstly"、"Moreover"、"In conclusion" 等，使文章更加流畅。

5. 增加具体细节：

   • 在描述戏曲时，可以加入具体的例子或细节，如提到京剧、豫剧等，使内容更加丰富。

通过以上修改，作文可以达到 22-30分 的水平。