Chinese Students Studying Abroad and Returning

Nowadays, it is undeniable that anything about China has almost become the most popular topic of the present-day world. China is a symbol of new power. Take my friend Wang as an example, who studies at the University of California. He often remarks to me that a lot of people believe China will be the top country instead of America. And I believe it, too.

There are some reasons for account of my view. Firstly, many Chinese students study abroad to find a better chance. But in recent years, more and more Chinese study-abroad students returned, even more than half. It shows the chance of China. The deep side of this state is not far to seek. With the development of Chinese economic and global progress, China is becoming young and powerful. Especially a large number of Chinese study-abroad students who have returned is growing. I can't imagine China's future.

For my part, as young people, we ought to make our country better by studying something seriously and should raise the awareness of China's future.

评分与评价：

评分：12分（10-15分档）

评价：

1. 切题性：作文基本切题，提到了中国学生留学和归国的现象，但内容展开不够充分，尤其是对图表数据的分析和具体影响的探讨较少。
2. 结构完整性：结构较为完整，分为引言、原因分析、个人态度三部分，但逻辑连贯性较差，段落之间的衔接不够自然。

3. 语言表达：

   • 语法错误较多，例如：

     • "the chance of China"（应为 "the opportunities in China"）
     • "the deep side of this state"（表达不够准确，应为 "the underlying reasons"）
     • "China is becoming young and powerful"（"young" 用词不当，应为 "dynamic"）
   • 句子结构较为简单，缺乏复杂句型和高级表达。
4. 内容深度：内容较为空泛，缺乏具体数据支持和深入分析。例如，提到“more than half of Chinese students returned”但没有结合图表数据具体说明趋势。
5. 题目：作文有题目，未扣分。

扣分点：

1. 语法错误：多处语法错误影响了表达的准确性和流畅性（扣4分）。
2. 内容空泛：缺乏具体数据和深入分析，未能充分展开题目要求的三个方面（扣3分）。
3. 逻辑连贯性：段落衔接不够自然，例子与主题关联性不强（扣2分）。

优化建议（如何达到满分）：

1. 增强切题性：

   • 明确提到图表数据，例如：“As shown in the chart, the number of Chinese students studying abroad has increased significantly since 1978, and the return rate has also risen sharply since 2000.”
   • 具体分析图表趋势，例如：“The solid line indicates the growing number of students going abroad, while the dashed line shows the increasing return rate, especially after 2010.”

2. 丰富内容：

   • 原因分析：结合经济发展和全球化具体展开，例如：“China's rapid economic growth has created more job opportunities, making it attractive for students to return. Meanwhile, globalization has increased educational exchanges, encouraging more students to study abroad.”
   • 影响探讨：具体说明归国学生对行业、人才储备和国际交流的影响，例如：“Returned students bring advanced technologies and international perspectives, boosting industries like technology and finance. They also enrich China's talent pool and enhance global cooperation.”

3. 提升语言表达：

   • 使用复杂句型，例如：“Not only have Chinese students contributed to their host countries during their studies, but they have also become a driving force for China's development upon returning.”
   • 使用高级词汇，例如：“repatriation of talent,” “brain gain,” “global competitiveness” 等。

4. 优化结构：

   • 引言部分简明扼要，直接点题。
   • 每段围绕一个核心观点展开，避免内容重复。
   • 结尾部分总结全文，呼应主题。

5. 检查语法和用词：

   • 确保句子结构正确，避免中式英语。
   • 使用准确的词汇，例如将“young and powerful”改为“dynamic and influential”。

语法错误：

1. 主谓一致错误：

   • 原句：many Chinese students study abroad to find a better chance.
   • 修改：many Chinese students study abroad to find better opportunities.
   • 解释：原句中“a better chance”单数形式与“many Chinese students”复数主语不一致，应改为复数形式“better opportunities”。

2. 时态错误：

   • 原句：more and more Chinese study-abroad students returned.
   • 修改：more and more Chinese study-abroad students have returned.
   • 解释：此处描述的是近年来的趋势，用现在完成时更合适。

3. 介词错误：

   • 原句：With the development of Chinese economic and global progress.
   • 修改：With the development of China's economy and global progress.
   • 解释：“Chinese economic”应改为名词形式“China's economy”。

4. 冠词错误：

   • 原句：a large number of Chinese study-abroad students who have returned is growing.
   • 修改：a large number of Chinese study-abroad students who have returned are growing.
   • 解释：“a large number of”后接复数名词，谓语动词用复数形式。

搭配不当：

1. 形容词与名词搭配不当：

   • 原句：China is becoming young and powerful.
   • 修改：China is becoming dynamic and powerful.
   • 解释：“young”在此处用词不当，应改为更合适的形容词“dynamic”。

2. 动词与宾语搭配不当：

   • 原句：we ought to make our country better by studying something seriously.
   • 修改：we ought to make our country better by studying seriously.
   • 解释：“studying something seriously”搭配不当，应直接说“studying seriously”。

用词不当：

1. 用词不够准确：

   • 原句：the deep side of this state is not far to seek.
   • 修改：the underlying reasons are not far to seek.
   • 解释：“the deep side of this state”表达不够准确，应改为“the underlying reasons”。

2. 表达不够地道：

   • 原句：I can't imagine China's future.
   • 修改：I can't begin to imagine the promising future of China.
   • 解释：原句表达较为简单，修改后更符合英语表达习惯。

其他问题：

1. 句子结构简单：

   • 原句：Take my friend Wang as an example, who studies at the University of California.
   • 修改：Take my friend Wang, for example; he is studying at the University of California and often shares his observations about China's growing influence.
   • 解释：原句结构简单，可扩展内容使其更丰富。

2. 逻辑连贯性差：

   • 原句：He often remarks to me that a lot of people believe China will be the top country instead of America. And I believe it, too.
   • 修改：He often remarks that many people believe China will surpass America as the top global power, a view I wholeheartedly agree with.
   • 解释：修改后句子更连贯，逻辑更清晰。

示例满分作文（供参考）：

Chinese Students Studying Abroad and Returning

As shown in the chart, the number of Chinese students studying abroad has surged since 1978, reaching nearly 500,000 annually by 2015. Meanwhile, the return rate has also increased significantly, especially after 2000, reflecting a positive trend of talent repatriation.

This phenomenon can be attributed to several factors. First, China's economic boom has created abundant opportunities, making it increasingly attractive for students to return. Second, globalization has facilitated educational exchanges, encouraging more students to pursue overseas degrees. Additionally, government policies supporting returned students, such as startup funding and tax incentives, have further incentivized their return.

The impact of returned students on China is profound. They inject fresh ideas into industries like technology and finance, driving innovation. Their advanced skills and international perspectives enhance China's talent pool, strengthening its global competitiveness. Furthermore, they act as cultural ambassadors, fostering international cooperation and understanding.

In conclusion, the growing trend of Chinese students studying abroad and returning is a testament to China's rising influence. By leveraging this talent, China can continue to thrive in the global arena.