My Favorite City

Nowadays, it is undeniable that Hangzhou has almost become the most popular city in present-day China. Deepseek, Yushu Robot, Alibaba, these are all from Hangzhou. Take my friend Wang as an example, who really likes a game called Black Myth: Wukong. He often remarks to me that he planned to go to Hangzhou because the studio of this game is in there, that's Game Science.

Why my friends and I really like Hangzhou? The reason for this question is not far to seek. For my part, not only Hangzhou is as an symbol of future city, but also there are a lot of places that can make me relax. Such as the Westlake, my favorite part of it is hanging out around it. Just feeling the winds and watching the waves on the lake. It can decrease my pressure and make me feel easy.

That's why I choose it as my favorite city. Hangzhou is a city that has both modern parts and natural parts. Moreover, it's the best city for young people or students who want to make their dreams come true. What a wonderful city it is!

评价与评分：

水平分析

这篇作文整体上切题，结构完整，思路清晰，能够围绕“最喜欢的城巿”展开描述，并从科技、自然景观和个人感受等方面阐述了理由。文章语言较为流畅，但仍然存在一些语法错误、拼写错误和标点符号使用不当的问题。此外，部分表达略显简单，缺乏高级词汇和复杂句型。

具体扣分点

1. 语法错误（扣3分）

   • “He often remarks to me that he planned to go to Hangzhou”中的“planned”应改为“plans”，时态使用不当。
   • “not only Hangzhou is as an symbol of future city”中“is”应改为“is”，“as”应改为“a”。
   • “there are a lot of places that can make me relax”中“that”可以省略，但保留更正式。

2. 拼写错误（扣1分）

   • “symble”应改为“symbol”。

3. 标点符号（扣1分）

   • “Deepseek, Yushu Robot, Alibaba, these are all from Hangzhou”中的逗号应改为句号或分号。
   • “He often remarks to me that he planned to go to Hangzhou because the studio of this game is in there, that's Game Science.” 中的逗号应改为句号。

4. 语言表达不够地道（扣2分）

   • “make me feel easy”应改为“make me feel relaxed”。
   • “hanging out around it”可以改为“strolling around it”以提升表达的正式性。

5. 缺乏高级表达和复杂句型（扣2分）

   • 文章整体语言较为简单，缺少定语从句、状语从句等复杂句型。

6. 逻辑连贯性（扣1分）

   • “Why my friends and I really like Hangzhou?” 这种直接提问的方式稍显突兀，可以改为更自然的过渡句，如“Have you ever wondered why my friends and I adore Hangzhou?”

总评分

根据评分标准，这篇作文属于16-21分档次。扣除上述问题后，最终评分为 19分。

优化建议

1. 修正语法和拼写错误

   • 例如：“He often remarks to me that he plans to go to Hangzhou”；“not only is Hangzhou a symbol of a future city”。

2. 使用更地道的表达

   • 将“make me feel easy”改为“make me feel relaxed and at ease”。
   • 将“hanging out around it”改为“strolling around it”。

3. 增加复杂句型

   • 使用定语从句或状语从句，例如：“Hangzhou, which is known as a city of innovation, attracts many tech companies like Alibaba and Deepseek.”

4. 丰富词汇和细节

   • 增加形容词和细节描写，例如：“The serene West Lake, surrounded by lush greenery, provides a perfect spot for relaxation.”

5. 规范标点符号

   • 避免过多逗号，使用句号或分号分隔句子。

6. 调整逻辑连贯性

   • 使用更自然的过渡句，例如：“Have you ever wondered why my friends and I adore Hangzhou?”

通过以上修改，文章语言更加地道，结构更加清晰，表达更加丰富，能够达到更高分数甚至满分水平。