How to Deal with Depression

Nowadays, it is undeniable that depression has almost become the most popular topic in present-day world. More and more people have got depression in recent years. Take my friend Wang as an example, who sometimes did something in a mess. He often remarks to me that he thinks he is a worthless person.

To my opinion, the reason of the question is not far to seek. Firstly, if you have got depression, you will be emotional and sensitive, maybe you will shake or cry for no reason. It makes you can't do anything well. Secondly, you will be a indifferent person. That means you don't care about anything around you, even your family or your best friends. It's not your problems, the depression takes it to you. Eventually, you can't help crying and cannot escape.

For my part, the key is proper plan to deal it. As young people, we ought to make more friends and go outside to find something we didn't seen before. We should promote stress from our life and raise the awareness of depression.

扣分点

1. 语法错误：

   • "the reason of the question is not far to seek" 中，“of” 使用不当，应改为 “for”，即 “the reason for the question is not far to seek”。
   • "you will be a indifferent person" 中，不定冠词使用错误，应改为 “an indifferent person”。
   • "the key is proper plan to deal it" 表达混乱且语法错误，应重新组织语言，例如 “the key is to have a proper plan to deal with it”。

2. 表达问题：

   • 部分表达不够精准且有中式英语痕迹，如 “It's not your problems, the depression takes it to you” 表达较为生硬且不符合英语习惯，可改为 “It's not your fault, the depression brings this to you”。

3. 格式问题：

   • 题目书写不规范，未使用《》且未单独成行居中，需扣 1 分。

4. 句式和词汇：

   • 句式较为简单，缺乏高级表达和复杂句型，如定语从句、状语从句、被动语态等运用较少，文章整体语言质量有待提升。

优化建议

1. 修正语法错误：

   • 仔细检查语法，确保句子结构正确，如修正上述提到的语法问题。

2. 提升表达精准性和地道性：

   • 多积累常用英语表达，避免中式英语，如将 “It's not your problems, the depression takes it to you” 改为更符合英语习惯的表达。

3. 丰富句式结构：

   • 尝试使用复杂句型，如定语从句、状语从句等，提升文章语言质量。例如，可以将 “More and more people have got depression in recent years. Take my friend Wang as an example, who sometimes did something in a mess.” 改为 “More and more people have got depression in recent years, and my friend Wang is one of them, who sometimes did something in a mess.”

4. 注意格式规范：

   • 确保题目使用《》且单独成行居中，符合作文格式要求。

5. 增加高级词汇和表达：

   • 积累并运用一些与主题相关的高级词汇和短语，如 “combat depression”“mental health awareness” 等，提升文章档次。

总分

根据评分标准，我认为这篇作文可以给予 16 分。文章整体切题，结构完整，但存在较多语法错误和表达问题，语言质量有待提升，且格式不规范。如果能够按照上述优化建议进行修改，文章质量将有显著提升，有望达到更高分数。