Why Is Online Shopping

Nowadays, it is undeniable that online shopping has almost become the most popular topic in present-day world. More and more people enjoy using online shopping websites, such as Taobao, Tmall and Amazon. Take my friend Wang as an example, who enjoys shopping online, he often remarks to me that it's the best way to buy anything you want.
Why is it so popular in present-day life? The reason is not far to seek. Firstly, it's convenient for someone who has no time to buy in spare time. You can easily use your phone to buy in every time and everywhere. Secondly, by shopping online, you will have more choices that you didn't have before. The cheapest one or hottest one is easy to find. That's why we often use it.
For my part, it gives us an opportunity that we able to seek the best one. As young people, we ought to teach our parents to use it wisely. We should promote its benefits and raise the awareness of online shopping.

评分

25分

水平评价：

该考生的作文整体上切题，结构完整，思路清晰，文字通顺、连贯，语言比较地道，有一些高级表达和复杂句型，如“Nowadays, it is undeniable that...”“Take my friend Wang as an example...”等。但在一些细节上存在小问题，如句子结构等。

扣分点：

1. 标题不完整，应为“Why Is Online Shopping So Popular?”，而考生只写了“Why Is Online Shopping”，扣1分。
2. 一些句子结构可以更优化，如“For my part, it gives us an opportunity that we able to seek the best one.”可以改为“For my part, it gives us an opportunity to seek the best one.”，扣1分。
3. 整体上可以使用更高级的句型和词汇，以提升文章的档次，扣1分。
   优化建议：
4. 确保标题完整，与题目一致。
5. 注意句子结构的准确性，避免语法错误。
6. 可以增加一些具体的数据或例子来增强说服力，如“According to a recent survey, over 70% of consumers prefer online shopping due to its convenience and variety of choices.”
7. 使用更高级的句型和词汇，如将“it's convenient for someone who has no time to buy in spare time”改为“it offers unparalleled convenience for those with a busy schedule, allowing them to shop anytime and anywhere.”
8. 保持段落间的连贯性，可以使用一些过渡词，如“Moreover,”“Additionally,”等，使文章更加流畅。