Why Did I Stop Driving the Car

Nowadays, it is undeniable that more and more people drive cars instead of walking in the city. Take my friend Wang as an example, his office is far from his house, so he decided to buy a car. After that, he often remarks to me that he has more spare time since he had a own car.

That's true, but I decide to stop driving the car. There are some reasons for account of my view. First, it saves me lots of time, but I have to spend more money on it. Second, driving the car may have an effect of our planet. Together with increasing pollution, it could cause temperature to rise.

For my part, driving the car is a really double - edged sword. The key is proper use. As one part of our planet, we ought to less drive the car and keep the air clean. Not only we should promote its benefits, but also we need to raise the awareness of its effect.

评分

水平评价

这篇作文整体上基本切题，结构较为完整，思路较为清晰，但存在一些语法错误和表达不够准确的地方，属于16-21分档次。

扣分点

1. 语法错误：

   • 句子成分残缺，如“Take my friend Wang as an example, his office is far from his house”中，应改为“Take my friend Wang as an example. His office is far from his house”。
   • 冠词使用不当，如“he had a own car”应改为“he had his own car”。
   • 动词形式错误，如“it could cause temperature to rise”应改为“it could cause the temperature to rise”。
   • 句子结构问题，如“Not only we should promote its benefits”应改为“Not only should we promote its benefits”。

2. 表达不够准确或中式英语：

   • “There are some reasons for account of my view”表达不够自然，应改为“There are some reasons for my decision”。
   • “The key is proper use”应改为“The key is to use it properly”。

3. 连贯性：

   • 文章整体连贯性较好，但在一些句子衔接上可以更自然，例如在第二段开头可以加入过渡词使段落衔接更流畅。

优化建议

1. 修正语法错误：

   • 注意句子成分的完整性，避免出现句子开头使用介词短语后直接跟句子其他成分的情况。
   • 正确使用冠词，如“his own car”。
   • 修正动词形式，如“cause the temperature to rise”。
   • 调整句子结构，使句子更加符合英语表达习惯，如“Not only should we promote its benefits”。

2. 提升表达的准确性和地道性：

   • 使用更自然的表达方式，如将“For account of my view”改为“For my decision”。
   • 优化句子结构，使表达更加流畅和地道，如将“The key is proper use”改为“The key is to use it properly”。

3. 增强连贯性：

   • 在段落开头加入适当的过渡词，使文章的逻辑更加清晰和连贯。

通过以上修改和优化，文章的语言表达会更加准确、流畅和地道，能够更好地传达作者的观点，从而提升整体得分。