文亮25(二):Should One Expect a Reward When Doing a Good Deed

3月20日 5 0

25本

2025-04-19

29

Should One Expect a Reward When Doing a Good Deed

Nowadays, it is undeniable that helping others has almost the most popular thing in our daily life. Take my friend Wang as an example, he often goes to the park as an volunteer, he plays a role in helping old people and playing with them. He remarks to me that he feels great.

There are some reasons for account of my view. To begin with, some people think they should one expect a reward when doing a good deed. The reason is not far to seek, they devote some of their time and want to be encouraged. On the other hand, a lot of persons think persons who doing a good deed should be like to Leifeng, They shouldn't expect a reward because it's priceless.

What's your idea as to it? For my part, the key is propose use. If someone helps you a lot or in need, you should give him or her a reward. it will encourage people who doing a good deed. We should promote its benefits and raise the awareness of giving a reward.

评分

切题情况

文章紧扣题目“Should One Expect a Reward When Doing a Good Deed”展开,围绕是否应该期待回报这一主题进行论述,整体切题。

结构完整性

文章结构完整,分为引言、正文和结尾三个部分。引言部分通过举例引入话题;正文部分分别阐述了两种不同的观点;结尾部分表明了作者自己的立场。

思路清晰度

文章思路较为清晰,按照题目要求的三个要点依次展开:先介绍有人做好事期望回报的情况;接着阐述有人认为应像雷锋一样不图回报的观点;最后表达自己的观点。各段落之间逻辑连贯,过渡自然。

文字通顺度与连贯性

整体文字较为通顺,但存在一些语法错误和表达不准确的地方,影响了连贯性。例如:

  • “has almost the most popular thing”应改为“has become one of the most popular things”
  • “as an volunteer”应改为“as a volunteer”
  • “the key is propose use”应改为“the key is to propose useful measures”或类似更通顺的表达
  • “it will encourage people who doing a good deed”应改为“it will encourage people who do a good deed”

语言表达与句型复杂度

文章使用了一些基本的句型,但缺乏高级表达和复杂句型的运用。部分句子结构较为简单,例如:

  • “He remarks to me that he feels great.”
  • “The reason is not far to seek”

语言错误情况

存在较多语法错误,包括:

  • 时态错误:如“he often goes to the park as an volunteer, he plays a role in helping old people and playing with them”中,两个分句之间缺少连词,且时态使用不够准确。
  • 冠词使用错误:如“as an volunteer”。
  • 介词使用不当:如“be like to Leifeng”应改为“be like Leifeng”。
  • 主谓一致错误:如“a lot of persons think persons who doing a good deed”中,“persons who doing”应改为“persons who do”。

题目格式

文章题目格式正确,单独居中,符合要求。

综合评价与评分

根据上述分析,该文章整体水平处于中等偏下,按照评分标准应归入10-15分这一档次。具体评分建议为12分左右。

扣分点

  1. 语法错误较多,影响了文章的准确性和流畅性,扣8分左右。
  2. 部分表达不够地道,存在中式英语现象,扣3分左右。
  3. 缺乏高级表达和复杂句型,语言较为简单,扣3分左右。
  4. 文章题目格式正确,不扣分。

优化建议

  1. 语法修正:仔细检查并修正语法错误,如时态、冠词、介词、主谓一致等。例如将“has almost the most popular thing”改为“has become one of the most popular things”,“as an volunteer”改为“as a volunteer”等。
  2. 提升语言表达:增加一些高级词汇和短语,使用更地道的表达方式。例如将“He remarks to me that he feels great”改为“He tells me that he feels a great sense of fulfillment”。
  3. 运用复杂句型:适当加入定语从句、名词性从句、倒装句等复杂句型,提升文章的语言层次。例如将“There are some reasons for account of my view. To begin with, some people think they should one expect a reward when doing a good deed.”改为“There are several reasons accounting for my view. Firstly, some people hold the belief that they should expect a reward when performing a good deed, which is understandable given the time and effort they devote.”
  4. 增强逻辑连贯性:通过添加过渡词和逻辑连接词,使文章段落之间、句子之间的衔接更加自然流畅。例如在结尾段落中,可以加入“From my perspective”“In conclusion”等过渡词,使观点的表达更加清晰有力。
25本

相关文章

1Days:复习
文亮一模(二):My View on Full-Time Employment versus Freelancing
2Days:练习/刷题

评论(0)

暂无

发布评论