作文内容

E-books or Paper Books.

Nowadays, it is undeniable that E-books or Paper Books has almost become the hottest topic of the present-day world. Take my friend Wang as an example, he just started to use E-books, and often remarks to me that he thinks E-books is better than paper books. What's your idea as to it?

There are some reasons for account of my views. To begin with, it's easy to take, you can put it in your small bag, then read books everywhere you want. If you want to buy a new book, you will get a very cheap price by using the E-book. The other side of the question is not far to seek. Reading by E-book, you need to read texts on the display. It's not good for your eyes. Especially when you read in the night. Eventually, it's really expensive for a lot of people.

For my part, E-books is a really double-edged sword. The key is proper use. As students, we ought to use it in the right time. Then promote its benefits and raise the awareness of E-books.

评分及评价

得分：19分（满分30分）

水平评价： 该生的作文基本切题，涵盖了题目要求的三个要点：社会上关于电子书和纸质书的讨论、不同人的观点以及自己的看法。文章结构完整，有开头、中间论述和结尾观点表达，但整体语言表达存在一些问题。

具体扣分点：

1. 语法错误较多： 如“E-books or Paper Books has almost become the hottest topic”中，“has”应改为“have”；“E-books is a really double-edged sword”中，“is”应改为“are”；“you can put it in your small bag”中，“it”指代不明，应改为“them”。
2. 表达不够地道： 部分句子表达较为生硬，如“it is undeniable that...”“Take my friend Wang as an example”等，不够自然流畅。
3. 逻辑连贯性不足： 文章段落之间的衔接不够紧密，如从列举电子书的优点直接跳到缺点，缺乏过渡句，导致文章连贯性稍差。

优化建议

1. 修正语法错误： 注意主谓一致，如“E-books...have become...”“E-books are a double-edged sword”等；代词使用要准确，如“you can put them in your small bag”。
2. 提升表达地道性： 使用更符合英语表达习惯的词汇和句式，如将“it is undeniable that...”改为“There is no denying that...”；“Take my friend Wang as an example”可改为“For instance, my friend Wang...”。
3. 加强逻辑连贯性： 在段落之间添加过渡句，使文章衔接更自然。例如，在列举电子书优点后，可加一句“However, despite these advantages, e-books also have some drawbacks.”引出缺点部分。
4. 丰富内容细节： 可适当增加一些具体例子或数据来支撑观点，使文章更具说服力。如在阐述电子书价格优势时，可举例说明某平台电子书的折扣力度。
5. 使用复杂句型： 尝试运用定语从句、状语从句等复杂句式，提升文章档次。例如，“Reading by e-book, which requires you to stare at the screen for a long time, is not good for your eyes.”

修改文章

E-books or Paper Books

Nowadays, there is no denying that whether e-books will replace paper books has almost become one of the hottest topics in contemporary society. Take my friend Wang as an example. He has recently started using e-books and often remarks to me that he thinks e-books are better than paper books. What's your opinion on this issue?

There are several reasons accounting for my views. To begin with, e-books are portable. You can store hundreds of books in your small e-reader or smartphone and read them anywhere you want. When you want to purchase a new book, you can often get it at a much lower price through e-book platforms. However, despite these advantages, e-books also have some drawbacks. Reading e-books requires you to stare at the screen for long periods, which is harmful to your eyes, especially when reading at night. Additionally, although e-books may seem cheap initially, the cost of purchasing an e-reader device and continuously buying e-books can be quite expensive in the long run.

In my opinion, e-books are truly a double-edged sword. The key lies in using them properly. As students, we should utilize e-books at appropriate times to maximize their benefits while being aware of their potential drawbacks.

修改说明：

1. 语法修正：

   • 将“E-books or Paper Books has almost become the hottest topic”改为“whether e-books will replace paper books has almost become one of the hottest topics”，修正了主谓一致问题，同时使表达更准确。
   • 将“E-books is better than paper books”改为“e-books are better than paper books”，修正了主谓一致。
   • 将“you can put it in your small bag”改为“you can store hundreds of books in your small e-reader or smartphone”，修正了代词指代不明的问题，同时丰富了内容。

2. 表达优化：

   • 将“it is undeniable that...”改为“there is no denying that...”，使表达更地道。
   • 将“Take my friend Wang as an example”改为“Take my friend Wang as an example.”后另起一句，使句子结构更清晰。
   • 将“for account of my views”改为“accounting for my views”，修正了介词使用不当的问题。

3. 逻辑连贯性提升：

   • 在列举电子书优点后，添加了过渡句“However, despite these advantages, e-books also have some drawbacks.”，使段落衔接更自然。
   • 将“Reading by E-book, you need to read texts on the display. It's not good for your eyes.”改为“Reading e-books requires you to stare at the screen for long periods, which is harmful to your eyes”，使表达更紧凑、逻辑更清晰。

4. 内容丰富：

   • 在阐述电子书便携性时，具体说明了“store hundreds of books in your small e-reader or smartphone”，使内容更具象。
   • 在提到电子书价格优势时，补充了“through e-book platforms”，使论述更完整。
   • 在讨论电子书长期成本问题时，增加了“the cost of purchasing an e-reader device and continuously buying e-books”，使观点更有说服力。

5. 句式复杂度提升：

   • 使用了定语从句“which is harmful to your eyes”和状语从句“when you want to purchase a new book”，提升了文章语言层次。

通过以上修改，文章在语法准确性、表达地道性、逻辑连贯性以及内容丰富度上都有了显著提升，更符合满分作文的要求。